Redemption: Triple R Security, Book 3 Page 17

  Whilst the thought of screwing Rick in the front seat of his car is hot as fuck, the logistics of it make it almost impossible and so not sexy. I’m also not entirely sure how much of his playful reply was just that or if we are even on the same wavelength.

  Guess I’ll have to wait till we get to wherever we’re going and sort myself out.

  Twenty-Nine

  Rick

  Four hours stuck in this car with Jess, who is practically thrumming with need and arousal, is enough to give me the most painful blue balls ever known to man.

  Every shift in her seat, even when she was a-bloody-sleep, came with a groan that had my dick standing to attention.

  Yeah, that same adrenaline that was flowing through her veins has been lighting me up too. If I don’t get a cold shower soon, I might spontaneously combust.

  “Arrrgh, fuck my arse is numb.” Jess grumbles as she climbs from the car and arches her back to stretch it out. “What is this place?” she asks, taking in the converted barn in front of her.

  “It used to be my grandparents. The main house, anyway. But I started work on the barn conversion a couple of years back.”

  My grandparents, Arthur and Doris Sullivan, lived here when my father and his brother, Harry, were young. Having spent all his childhood here, when my grandparents passed away just before Max was born, he couldn’t bear to part with it, so he kept it. Rented it out as a holiday let mostly, but Dad and Mum would come up here every now and then to check on it and have a break at the same time.

  Max loves it, and before Sam’s death I’d thought about us moving here. Us in the barn and my parents in the main house. I decided that, even if I wouldn’t get to live in the barn, someone else should enjoy it, so I’d started the renovations.

  Most of it is finished, bar a small section at the far end that still needs some work to it.

  Jess spins round to face me. “You designed this?”

  “Yeah.” I chuckle at her sceptical expression. “No need to sound so surprised, Jess.” I come and stand next to her as she turns to look out over the lake.

  The lake glistens a brilliant burnt orange as the final rays of the setting sun dip behind a circular copse of trees in the distance.

  “What a stunning view, Rick,” Jess marvels, her tone full of awe at the sight before her. “Why on earth would you not live here?” she questions, almost accusingly.

  I’ve never been more thankful for the sound of tyres crunching on gravel as Seb and Jamie arrive and park alongside me.

  Perhaps, in hindsight, coming here wasn’t my best idea, especially with a woman who has me rethinking everything and questioning my convictions as a husband and father.

  My mind might be confused about my feelings for Jess, but my body has no such issue. The evidence of that is still lingering. If anything, the last twenty-four hours have made me realise that the time we have on this earth is short enough, and maybe I need to live every second of it like it’s my last. I’m thankful that this time I’m not walking away as an orphan and childless, but it could have been very different.

  I pull the keys to the barn from my pocket and hold them out to Jess. She looks at them, then me, and I struggle to read the expression on her face. I struggle to read her full stop. I thought I built my walls high, but Jess’ are like scaling Everest.

  As Seb and Jamie approach, Jess takes the keys and strolls to the barn. I watch as she inspects all the keys before selecting one and sliding it in the lock. It turns easily, and she pushes the door wide and steps inside, out of sight.

  “What are you thinking?” Seb asks.

  “I’m thinking how the fuck did those bastards know where we were?” Seb nods his agreement. “Come on, let’s get inside. I want to get the security measures set up.”

  My decision to come here wasn’t without good reason. There’s no link to me and this property and land. I made sure to have the house placed under a pseudonym and any connection to my family is hidden. I’ve also installed the latest security system, including a GPS blocker. There are several that cover the whole property and about half the surrounding land I own. Being off radar seems like the safest option right now.

  I’m not thinking too much about the fact I did all of that even though I never plan to live here. Perhaps, subconsciously, I knew that I’d need the protection one day.

  Being here will hopefully give us some time to figure things out. I know there are going to be some hard conversations over the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, necessary ones, that will give us some answers.

  After setting everything up, I show Seb and Jamie to their room and go in search of Jess.

  I find her in the unfinished end of the barn, looking over the lake.

  I walk towards her on quiet feet, as though I’m testing her awareness, and she doesn’t disappoint.

  As soon as I’m within striking distance, she throws her elbow back and high, aiming for my face. Grabbing her upper arm, I spin her, and as her other hand comes up to strike me, I grip her wrist. With both hands now restrained, I wait for the strike that every woman knows. No training is required for the knee to a man’s junk, but it doesn’t come.

  I feel the pulse in her wrists speed up, and her chest rises and falls heavily with every breath.

  I know what comes next. I’m a slave to it. I want it. I need it. Just as much as she does.

  Our eyes lock, and I see the moment she accepts this is going to happen. I loosen my grip on her wrists, knowing she won’t fight me now, and raise her arms above her head. Uncurling my fingers, I let them trail down the sensitive skin on the inside of her arm, continuing over her ribs, pausing on the bruising there, till I reach the hem of her t-shirt. Fisting the material, I yank her body to mine, making her gasp. The contact is like a spark to a flame, setting alight my body and taking control.

  My hands glide up her body, taking the t-shirt with them. Tugging it over her head, I discard it before my hands grip her face, bringing my lips to within an inch of hers.

  “It hurts to want you, but I can’t help myself. Wanting you, touching you, owning you, is the best kind of punishment. I’m drowning in sin, and you are my redemption.” My throat closes on the last word, making it sound strained, then my lips meet hers in a kiss full of frustration wrapped up with a ribbon of anger and regret.

  I groan as her tongue swipes along mine, tasting sweeter than sin and more lethal than a shot of heroin. I tear at her clothes, letting her taste, her smell, her touch, flood my veins, and I revel in Jess, the antidote to my pain.

  Jess bites my lip as I pull away, spinning her and pushing her down over the work bench, mindful not to apply too much pressure on her ribs. I run my hands over the globes of her bare arse and down her thighs as I drop to my knees, spreading her open, and like a feast at the Devil’s table, I devour her.

  I swirl my tongue through her folds, dipping inside, and savouring the taste of her arousal before flicking my tongue over her clit.

  Jess grips the bench as I torture her, eliciting sounds that have me squeezing my dick to stop me from blowing my load. When she comes apart, screaming and cursing my name, I lap up every last drop of her release.

  Getting to my feet, I don’t give her a chance to catch her breath before I’m ramming home inside her. Jess’ head snaps up, letting out a loud cry at the fast and hard penetration. With her forearms on the bench, holding her up, and her head tipped back, I fist her hair as I thrust in and out.

  Beads of sweat roll down her back, glistening in the dim light, and I bend my knees, deepening the angle. Jess begins to tilt her hips back and forth, riding my dick, and I slow my thrusts, letting her take control.

  Jess starts to pant, stuttered breaths with each roll of her hips as another orgasm builds in her. “I…hate…you.”

  I growl at her words. “You love riding my dick though, Jess. I can feel it, see it, every time you look at me.”

  “Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh…fuck. Don’t stop, Rick.”

  My balls d
raw up, and her walls contract tightly around me as I lean forward and whisper, “I’m never going to stop, Jess.” I don’t have time to think about my confession as Jess comes with a keening cry, and I surrender to my own climax, coming with a roar that’s ripped from my throat.

  I collapse over her back, forehead resting in the small of her back, as her head drops to the bench with a dull thud, and her chest rises and falls against my cheek.

  I turn my face, laying several soft kisses on her back before easing out of her and stepping back.

  “Jess,” I say hesitantly.

  Keeping her head down, she takes a couple of deep breaths. Pushing herself up, she turns round slowly, eyes to the floor. When she’s facing me fully, she raises her eyes to mine, and I see pain, conflict, so much uncertainty.

  I don’t know what I was expecting; hate, anger, a dozen questions, even another slap, but I don’t get any of that, just a determined, yet sorrowful, frown.

  When her question comes, it steals the breath from lungs.

  “What happened to your wife, Rick?”

  My heart seizes like the Devil reached in and ripped it from my body. I stagger backwards as I’m filled with all the pain and regret that I’ve pushed down for years.

  “What the fuck sort of question is that, Jessica?” I spin away, snatching my boxers from the floor and shoving them on. “I’ve just been inside you, fucked you over a bench and had you screaming out my name, and basically just confessed how I feel about you and the first words out of your mouth are how did my wife die. Fuck that, Jess.”

  “That’s just it though, Rick,” she says stepping towards me, and I take a step back, out of her reach. She steps forward again, reaching out a hand to me and laying it on my chest. I know she felt my flinch, but it doesn’t deter her. “You were right when you said this was always more than just sex, Rick. But in case you haven’t noticed, someone wants me dead.” She pushes her hand up my chest to my face. “My question wasn’t intended to hurt you, although I know it did. I see the conflict over your feelings for me. Believe me, I understand that. I see your pain over the loss of your wife too. She must have been something special.”

  I grip her wrist, pulling her hand away from my face, and I see the hurt my actions cause.

  “She was everything,” I croak out through gritted teeth, letting her hand drop, and trying to turn away from her. Looking at her while I say those words hurts more than I thought possible. I feel guilt at having feelings for Jess, but I also feel guilt at telling her a woman she can’t even compete with was everything to me.

  Her hand latches onto my arm, stopping me. “Look at me.” I don’t, and she ducks down, gripping my face in a mirror of my hold on hers earlier, bringing us eye to eye. “I don’t want to be that for you, Rick. I don’t want you to fall and for me to ever be another cause of that pain living inside you. And I never want to be the reason you blame yourself, punish yourself, for something happening to me.”

  Her words cut me like a knife. Slashing through my carefully held emotions. Emotions I’ve spent years perfecting, keeping at bay, while torturing myself with the tendrils of pain and guilt like a beautifully crafted whip designed for the punishment of those unworthy of forgiveness.

  I let out a humourless laugh. “I think we both know it’s too late for that, Jess. And, unfortunately, this isn’t about you. It never was.” I throw my jeans back on before turning back to her. “Everything, all of it, is on me, Jess.” I walk from the room, leaving her there, because I need a minute. A minute to try and repair the walls she broke through with her words, and before I tear them down completely with my next confession.

  Thirty

  Jess

  I watch as Rick walks away, head down and hunched over, t-shirt swinging loosely from one hand and shoes in the other.

  I hang my own head and internally scream at myself. I take my time dressing as I try to process what just happened.

  Rick may not have answered my question, but I read between the lines and it’s clear he believes he’s to blame.

  I may have said I hate him, but I don’t, far from it. And I certainly don’t blame him for what happened to Christian. I don’t think I ever did. I’m just mad at him for having the answers that I’ve spent five years of my life seeking. I’m mad as hell that when he looks at me, speaks to me, touches me, my heart skips a beat and my belly flips over like the crest of a wave.

  I walk back through the house, and as I near the lounge, I hear laughter. Rounding the corner, I find Seb and Jamie fighting over the TV remote.

  Seeing me, they stop instantly. I don’t talk, don’t stop, just keep walking, hoping to escape to…somewhere, anywhere, but realising I don’t even know which room is mine.

  “Hold up, Jess. I’ll show you to your room,” Seb says, jogging to catch up to me.

  “You don’t need to, just tell where it is, and I’ll find it.”

  “It’s no problem. I was losing the remote battle anyway,” he jokes with an easy smile. I find my lips kick up in a half smile.

  We walk in an easy silence to the last room on the left. “This is you. You should have everything you need already inside.” I frown as Seb reaches round me, pushing the door open.

  I step into a room decorated in a light and airy cream with basic furnishings, but that’s not what has me confused. Laid across the bed are several stacks of neatly folded clothes from underwear to jeans and joggers to t-shirts and pyjamas.

  “Rick had to step out for a minute, but he’ll be back soon.” I snap round, looking at Seb. He holds a hand up. “Nothing to worry about.” Leaning against the door frame, arms folded across his chest. “Look, Jess—”

  “I don’t need another lecture. Thanks, but no thanks. If you’re expecting me to walk away, then you’re in for a shock. I’ve only ever walked away from two things in my life. One of which was the best decision I ever made, and the other, the worst.” I brush my hand over the top of the pile of underwear. “I’m guessing you already know this, but Rick was the last person to see my brother alive. And I’ve wanted answers for so long. Stuck my neck on the line, so it seems, trying to get them. But I never expected to be responsible for the death of an innocent girl or put others in danger.”

  “I don’t think you listened very carefully just now when Rick told you it was on him. Not that I agree with that assessment, but it’s what Rick believes. When you’ve cleaned up, come and join us. You’ll get your answers. I can’t promise you’ll be happy with them, but at least you’ll know the truth. Well, what we know anyway.” With that, Seb turns and walks away. Seems to be a common theme around me today.

  Seb’s first words dawn on me, and I know he and Jamie heard what just went down with us, but I can’t worry about them hearing me having an earth-shattering orgasm from a man that seems to be owning more and more of me. A man who thinks he’s to blame for everything bad past and present.

  When I step into the open plan lounge an hour later, Rick is sitting on the sofa with a half dozen files surrounding him. He looks up as I enter, then goes straight back to his paperwork. Seb and Jamie are in the kitchen cooking something delicious smelling.

  I walk over to the chair beside Rick and take a seat, looking over the folders and scattered papers. They are army files, each labelled with an op name, and some have CLASSIFIED stamped across them in big red capital letters.

  “Rick, about earlier—”

  Jamie and Seb walk in with dinner, cutting off what I was going to say.

  Seb hands me cutlery and a plate laden with chili and rice, and I offer him a quiet thanks. Jamie gives Rick his before joining Seb on the other sofa.

  “Let’s eat, then we’ll talk,” Rick states before tucking into his food without so much of a glance in my direction.

  Okay, fine. I can play the ‘I don’t give a fuck’ game too. I might be lying through my damn teeth, but I can put my game face on and bluff just as well as the next person.

  I see Jamie eyeing me, and I look righ
t at her, daring her to say something, but she doesn’t. I can see how much it hurts her to keep quiet, and I respect that she’s not afraid to speak out.

  Seb and Rick chat about work while Jamie and I sit and throw surreptitious glances at each other. When Rick mentions the name of an escort agency, my ears prick up. It’s the same one that I signed up to after following Alicia. I listen as they talk about their guy, Jay, and how the job is going. Seb mentions there are several of these agencies dotted around the country, which seems a little strange. Unless they are a reputable and well-established high-class agency you rarely get a franchise. I decide to keep quiet for now and see what information Rick shares before I show my hand. Admittedly, it’s not a winning hand, but I’ll keep it in the bag as something to look at later.

  Conversation turns more casual as we eat, that is until Seb mentions my father.

  “So, your father and my father ruling the courts, huh, Jess?”

  “Your father is an arsehole, much like my own,” I deadpan, shoving in another mouthful of food.

  Jamie snorts, almost choking on her own mouthful. Getting herself back under control, she says, “Finally, something we can agree on.”

  I feel Rick watching our exchange, and I have a feeling he doesn’t know about Jamie’s little warning to me at the hospital.

  “Yeah, well, if my father gets his way, the whole judicial system is well and truly screwed from the top down.” I place my fork on my empty plate and go to get up, but Jamie leans across, taking my plate before collecting everyone else’s and heading to the kitchen.

  When Jamie returns, she’s carrying a bottle of whiskey and four rock glasses.

  “Thought we might need a drink for this conversation,” she states matter-of-factly, placing the glasses down on the small coffee table and pouring a good measure into each.

  Rick is the first to pick up his glass, knocking it back in one. I have a feeling this is not going to be a pleasant conversation for either of us, so I do the same, savouring the burn as it slides down my throat.