Risk: Triple R Security, Book 1 Page 5
Sully plans to head back to London tomorrow and meet with Seb, and I’m going to stay here with Camryn. I’ve been here three months chasing every lead we had, and now we’ve found her there’s no way I’m leaving. This is just another job, and it will get done one way or another. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.
Seven
Camryn
What little sleep I had was like a show reel of every bad memory. What happened in the kitchen last night, when Blue touched me, has me feeling all kinds of screwed up. I know he won’t hurt me; I mean the guy is a giant and gives off a ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe, but I’ve never felt safer than when he’s near. Which is utterly ridiculous because I hardly know him? Besides, my arsehole radar must be broken, or I wouldn’t be in this fucking position in the first place.
I smack my hand on my forehead a couple of times hoping to knock some sense into myself. I don’t have room in my mind to sort out my feelings towards Blue, and I certainly have no idea how to make sense of my reactions to him. Before my mind threw me into that terrible memory, Blue’s touch was warm, I could feel his rough callouses brush over my skin and even pictured his hands travelling my body. I shake my head, clearing the image, as if he’d ever be interested in damaged goods. The man is hot, like feel the burn from another county hot, and no doubt has women lining the streets to get a piece of him.
Urgh! I get up and shower hoping it will wash all the shit away, but it doesn’t. I’ll never be clean again, I’m tainted. My body has scars that nobody can see, has endured pain and suffering that is buried deep below the surface, and now I have blood on my hands. The blood of the most precious person, the one person that gave me purpose and a reason to live, to fight.
“Mummy, mummy, look what I did.” Faye runs to me where I’m sat on the patio. As she reached me, I scooped her up and set her on my lap. She’s waving a piece of paper and talking incessantly. I grab the paper and lay it on her knees to get a better look at it.
“Wow! You did this? It’s beautiful, just like you,” I told her, bopping her on her tiny little nose. She grins up at me and then tells me.
“It’s for you, that big star is me though.” I chuckle, of course it is. A small frown formed on her cute little face, and when I asked her why, she said, “You said that I’m the bright that lights up the dark, is that not true?”
My heart aches at that statement, and then I tell her, “Oh, baby girl, it is all true, you are the brightest star in the sky, and when you get older you will shine for everyone.”
As the memory fades tears slide down my face. Who would have known how significant that conversation has become.
When I was sleeping on the streets, I would often look at the night sky and search for the brightest star. My daughter. The one good thing that bastard gave me, only for her to be snatched away. I was so stupid to think that we could live in his fucked-up world and remain safe and untouched.
I hear the front door downstairs and hushed voices, but I’m so lost in my mind it doesn’t really register. It becomes clear exactly how lost to my thoughts I am when I don’t hear Jamie come into the room, and it’s only as she crouches in front of me, I realise she’s there.
“Hey. You okay?” She searches my face, I know she can see the tears, but she doesn’t mention them. I don’t try to stop them from falling, I can’t hold them in anymore and I won’t. Faye deserves more than to be hidden away like a dirty secret. That is one thing she’ll never be. She was my greatest achievement, the reason I’m here now, and why I’ll fight to the end. I look at Jamie, who is now kneeling before me, and she takes my hands and nods, telling me it’s okay.
Taking a deep breath and gathering the courage I need to get through this conversation I say, “I had a daughter.” She lets out a little gasp but doesn’t interrupt. “Her name was Faye, and she died a couple of months before her 4th birthday along with my mum.” I close my eyes against the pain mentioning her name brings. “My mum and I had been shopping while Faye was at nursery, but I got a call saying she wasn’t well and could I pick her up. Mum had persuaded me to get my hair cut while we were there, and I was halfway through.” I shake my head, wishing I had just left then instead of staying. “My mum said she would get her and come back for me, but I told her to take her straight home if she wasn’t feeling well. It wasn’t a big deal I would get a cab, but on the way home they were hit by a truck and forced into a ditch. Apparently, they both…” the words get stuck in my throat, but I swallow the pain back down determined to get them out, “they both…d-died on impact, they were there for over an hour, Jamie. Nobody knew. Nobody knew and they just lay there dead.” A sob breaks free, dropping my head in my hands. After several seconds, I sniff, swiping the tears away. “It wasn’t until I got home and realised they weren’t there, that I knew something had happened.” The tears fall down my face and pain stabs at my heart, ripping and shredding the walls I built to block it all out. Tearing me wide open.
Jamie moves to sit next to me on the bed, taking me in her arms, and I drop my head to her shoulder and sob. I thought I’d cried all my tears. I thought I locked my grief away, and I did, but grief can’t be contained, it will eat away at you until there is nothing left.
“It’s all my fault, Jamie. I killed my daughter, she died because of me.” Jamie pushes me back, holding me in place by my shoulders.
“No, Cam. That is not true, it wasn’t your fault. You can’t really believe that?” she says, tilting her head to the side, her brow raised in disbelief. “Why would you even think that? You weren’t driving, and you can’t control other people’s actions.” I start shaking my head at her, it doesn’t matter what she says, it’s my fault because I stupidly fell for a man who is the personification of the devil himself, and I foolishly believed he loved me.
“You don’t understand,” I pause, aware that now is the perfect time to tell her about him. But it seems I don’t have to.
“You’re talking about Sean, aren’t you?” she asks, and as soon as the name falls from her mouth, I’m up on my feet.
“What the fuck! How do you know that name? I never told you his name. Shit, shit, shit! Does he know I’m here? I should have died on the street that night. Should never have come here with you.” I’m pacing the bedroom, head down and chewing my thumb nail. I need to leave; I can’t stay here anymore. I know how this goes, I watch the TV, I’ve read those books, but there ain’t no happy ever after for me.
I walk to my wardrobe and start pulling out clothes, I grab the duffel and instantly feel sick at the thought of going on the run again, but what choice do I have. If I stay here, he will find me, and he will rain down hell on everyone I know. I don’t want more blood on my hands. I start thinking about where I can go while I load the clothes into my bag.
“Woah, hold on, what do you think you’re doing, Cam?” But I don’t stop, then she’s in front of me, and the bag is snatched from my hand, “Stop, you can’t leave.”
“I have to, Jamie. If he knows I’m here, he’ll come for me, and he won’t hesitate to ki…” I’m cut off as Blue charges into the room, heading straight for me. My breath catches in my throat at the anger on his face. I take a step back as he advances, my back hits the wall, and then he’s there.
“He won’t even get close,” he growls, caging me in with an arm either side of my head, “he won’t lay one finger on you…” His velvety voice washes over me as he leans in closer, breath whispering across the shell of my ear, “Because if he does—I’ll kill him. I’ll make him beg for his life and wish he’d never laid a finger on you. Do you understand?” I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I’ve never been so scared and turned on at the same time. I just nod, it’s so subtle if he blinked, he’d have missed it. “Good. Now, I’m starving,” he pauses, I turn my head, our lips are almost touching, and I get the feeling he’s not exactly talking about food, “get dressed, we’re going for breakfast.” With that, he turns and leaves the room as quick as he came. I slu
mp against the wall and blow out a deep breath.
“Holy fucking shit, that was hot!” I look over to Jamie, raising my brows. “What? Come on, you can’t tell me that didn’t make your fanny flutter.” I screw my nose up at that. “Bitch, please,” she says waving me off, “I need clean underwear and a couple good orgasms. Enjoy your breakfast.”
I’m so confused. Firstly, I didn’t even know he was in the damn house. Secondly, that damn man brings out the strangest feelings in me. I mean, how can you be scared and so turned on you think you’re going to come without so much as a kiss. Jamie was right, it was hot, but I shouldn’t feel like that about a man that oozes danger. I can see it in his eyes and feel it in him, he’s a man that has blood on his hands too. But somehow, deep in the very pit of my gut, I know he’s nothing like Sean.
I find that Sean’s name doesn’t produce as much fear as it once did. Maybe I gave him too much power over me by not saying his name, scared he’d appear behind me like the fucking Candy Man.
As I finish dressing, I think about what Blue said, the whole ‘wish he’d never laid a finger on me’, and what that means. He can’t possibly know about all the beatings and— the other things Sean did to me, can he? Nah, there’s no way, I’m being stupid, but I plan to ask him about it later.
Downstairs there is no sign of Jamie, guess she wasn’t lying about the underwear and orgasms. The less I think about that the better.
I do, however, find Blue in the lounge scanning the bookcase. I watch him from the door, but I’m not daft enough to think he isn’t aware I’m here; he’d hear a pin drop in a crowded room. Several minutes pass before he turns.
“You ready to go?” he asks, striding towards me.
“Yes. Where are we going?” He doesn’t answer just walks straight past me. I shake my head as I follow after him, “You knew I was there the whole time, didn’t you?” I ask.
“Sure did, I’ll always know where you are.” He chuckles.
See, I fucking knew it! Dangerous and veering into stalker territory, but I’m surprised to find it doesn’t worry me. Not sure what that says about my own sanity.
Eight
Camryn
We drive into town in Blue’s fancy arse car, the same one he was in last night. Apparently, it’s some high spec armoured car, an Audi RS7, that him, Sully and Seb all have. When I ask him who Sully and Seb are, I’m surprised to learn that Sully is Rick, who they call Sully because of his surname, Sullivan, and Seb is their other partner in the business.
“So, if Rick is called Sully, I’m guessing Blue isn’t your real name?” I ask, as I shift in my seat so I’m facing him more. Watching his reactions, but all I get is a little smirk.
“What makes you think that, something wrong with the name Blue?” His face is all serious, but there’s a teasing tone to his words. Okay, if that’s the game he wants to play.
“Well, no, but…” I pause just long enough to see him flick his eyes to me, trying to read if I’m serious or not, “it’s not exactly, you know—”
“No, I don’t know. Not exactly what?” All trace of teasing is gone now, this is his serious voice. I stifle a laugh, but the bastard hears me, as I thought, eyes and ears like a fucking hawk. “Oh, you think you’re funny, huh. If I wasn’t driving right now, I’d span—” he cuts off abruptly, and I turn to see a frown cross his brows.
I don’t need to be a genius to work out what he was about to say. Before Sean I wasn’t afraid of a little spanking, but it’s been a long time since the thought of a rough hand slapping my arse turned me on. Blue, however, seems to have jump started my libido as it snaps awake and has me squeezing my thighs together at the thought of how good his hand on my body would feel. I have no idea what possesses me to do it, but I turn to face him.
“Is that right, pretty boy,” I say, my voice sultry as I lean over, I lower it to just above a whisper, “you’d like that wouldn’t you?” I watch his throat as he swallows, realising I know what he was going to say. He shifts slightly in his seat. “Guess what…it ain’t ever going to fucking happen.” Immediately moving back to my seat and looking out my window to avoid looking at him. I can feel his eyes on me, but I can’t look at his beautiful blues right now.
I give a mental fist bump to the return of my former sassy self. It feels good, more like the me before Sean came into my life and destroyed my very soul. Crushing and tearing down everything that made me, me. He’s taken too much from me, and I refuse to let him have anymore of me.
We travel the rest of the way in silence, the previous tension has ebbed away and it’s nice. I don’t look back to Blue until we pull up outside what looks like apartments, but the lower floor is made up of a bar and a restaurant.
This is not the usual tower block, in some run-down part of town, no, this is something else. There’s a freaking concierge, and someone coming down to park the car. Blue hands over the keys as he steps out before coming to my side and opening my door. Where I’m still sat in some sort of shock. I’m not stupid, I’ve stayed places like this with Sean, and yes, I’m being unfairly judgemental, but it’s just not what I expected when I look at Blue. Yes, he has an armoured car, but I just assumed it was a company car.
“What is this place?” I ask, taking his offered hand and stepping out of the car.
The building sits on the corner of two roads, with the front entrance at the apex of where the two corners of the building meet. On one side of the entrance is a bar, currently closed but looks to be the kind where if your name’s not down, you ain’t coming in. And the other side is a restaurant, and here was me thinking we’d go to some greasy spoon. He doesn’t let go of my hand as we walk up the steps to the entrance, where the concierge opens the door.
“Welcome back, Mr Hawkins,” he greets, tipping his head to Blue and offering me a smile. I smile in return, uttering a barely audible ‘good morning’.
The inside reminds me of a hotel with what looks like a reception desk but is actually a security desk, where a security guard sits. He is surrounded by a bank of CCTV screens. Off to the right are several lifts, with a small seating area, but we walk to the left, past the security guard to a single lift there. Blue’s long strides have me practically jogging to keep up as he’s still holding my hand, and I’m still none the wiser about where we’re going.
As we enter the lift, Blue pulls a key card from his back pocket, swiping it through the access panel. The doors close, and we begin to climb. There are no numbers displayed to indicate what floor we are heading to, and we don’t stop until we reach what seems to be the top floor.
When the doors open, I’m faced with an open plan living space that must cover nearly the whole top floor of the building. Wow! To the left of me, there a couple of steps that lead down to a curved, sunken lounge area, with cream leather seating set in semi-circles, and a large grey coffee table shaped like a pebble in the centre. The far wall has bi-folding doors from end to end leading to a balcony, with a small bar area, and seating around a fire pit. As I walk further in, I see a kitchen area with a breakfast bar to the right, and directly in front of me there is a large dining table and chairs. Just past the kitchen is a hall that must lead to the bedrooms and bathroom.
Blue lets go of my hand, “So, what do you fancy for breakfast then?” he asks, as he walks towards the kitchen. Looking over his shoulder when he realises I’m not following him. “You can close your mouth now. Come on, I’ll give you the big tour after we’ve eaten.”
He’s not wrong, my jaw was dragging on the floor. I’m kind of speechless, this is not what I was expecting at all.
I take a seat at the breakfast bar as Blue moves around the kitchen, gathering everything he needs from various cupboards. I watch shamelessly, especially when he gives me a great view of his arse in those jeans. They fit so snug to his toned backside, that I can almost see his glutes flexing with every move he makes.
He’s broad with powerful, well defined muscles that taper to a trim and toned waist, cove
red by another black t-shirt. I bet he has a six-pack and a happy trail leading to the most spectacular… Okay, knock it off.
Completely lost in my ogling, I hadn’t noticed Blue now stands on the other side of the breakfast bar in front of me, with two glasses of orange juice, the smell of bacon cooking, but here he stands with the cockiest smile on his face. He absolutely knows I was checking him out, but you know what, I don’t give a shit.
“Don’t get too excited, pretty boy,” I say, plastering a devilish smile on my face, while he quirks a brow at my nickname for him. “I’m not adverse to a little window shopping, doesn’t mean I want to buy it or even try it on for size. One of them for me?” I ask, pointing at the drinks in his hands and winking at him. Damn. What is it about this guy that makes my lips so loose and me lose all self-preservation of life because I’m pretty sure he could crush me with one hand.
The cocky grin on his face doesn’t even falter, taking a step forward and placing the drink in front of me forces him to lean closer. My back straightens, and I lift my chin, giving him the impression I’m not afraid. But I’m very afraid. Not of him but of what he does to me, and how he makes my body react to him. My thighs automatically come together, and I feel my nipples harden at the hooded look in his eyes.
“Oh, Bambi.” He drops his eyes to my chest, a knowing look on his face. “Don’t kid yourself, you and I both know one taste would never be enough. Mmmm, the things I could do to your body would have you screaming for more and begging me to never stop. I’d own you.”
Those words reverberate around my brain, penetrating through the fog of lust that Blue created. It’s not the first time I’ve heard those words, but they never meant anything more than just possession in its rawest form. I thought I’d be disgusted hearing them again, from another man no less, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. The way Blue said them has me tied up in knots, not from fear or anger but with want, and that confuses the hell out of me.